Out of the depths I cry to you, Lord ; Lord, hear my voice.
Let your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy.
If you, Lord , kept a record of sins, Lord, who could stand?
But with you there is forgiveness,
so that we can, with reverence, serve you.
I wait for the Lord,
my whole being waits,
and in his word I put my hope.
I wait for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning,
more than watchmen wait for the morning.
Israel, put your hope in the Lord,
for with the Lord is unfailing love
and with him is full redemption.
He himself will redeem Israel from all their sins.
I feel these verses.
The first is most encouraging to me - it reminds me to really slow down, and open up my heart to God. From the deepest part of me. I'm not sure how or why (maybe someone told me to?) but after my brother died years ago I remember consciously making the decision to let myself be mad at God. I tried for a little while to play it off and try to convince myself that I couldn't/shouldn't be mad at God (He is perfect and I AM, after all!). But I was. For years. And somewhere along the way I let it out - I wouldn't say I wrestled with God, but I finally let out how I was really feeling. And I felt so much better afterwards. More peace than I'd felt for a looooooong time. I guess what I'm trying to say is that it was a great lesson for me to learn that God can handle how I feel about Him, and when I cry out to him, even in anger, He will listen. And his unfailing love will bring comfort.
When reading this chapter, I am reminded of how much of my life has been spent waiting on God. But not at all in a bad way. I suppose I never thought of it much when fasting, but it is exactly this - waiting on the Lord, more than watchmen wait for the morning. Wait. And put your hope in the Lord. This is all I do lately! And to be honest, I am not entirely sure what I'm waiting for. I think I know, but right now it doesn't seem like something that will happen in the near future. *Sigh* So I keep waiting & hoping :)
